Marriage & Pre Marriage Counseling - NYC.
Our original parent-child relationships form the template from which we relate to others throughout our lives. We tend to model what we have seen and felt, as that becomes a part of our internal psychological wiring. We replicate those original relationships and if they haven’t been the best or healthiest ones, we often attract this same original archetype with whom we can work through our issues and heal those parts of us that were wounded growing up.
Marriage counseling in New York City and the important but lesser used pre-marriage counseling helps each one in the couple understand the manner in which they’re relating that feels disruptive, disconnected, or unfulfilling. As a marriage counselor I positively work with each person's interior states toward fostering greater awareness of the authentic Self and to engender healing for long term transformation within the couple. From these richly revealing connections we cultivate honest, loving, and caring marital relations with our partner which then gets transferred into all other relationships.
NYC, in regard to married couples of all sexual orientations, offers its own particular set of challenges. I’ve successfully guided married couples going through anxiety, confusion, disconnection and anything you can imagine in terms of being in a state of combative disharmony. From those in the straits of relationship disaster to those who anxiously walk on egg shells to avoid conflict, I teach a form of authentic communication which creates the kind of understanding and empathy which frequently was never thought even possible. From this new place a more genuine and loving relationship can occur in the marriage, one that has greater respect and caring for the beloved other.
Starting out with pre marriage counseling achieves the same goal, only earlier, and therefore is vitally important for pre married couples for a fulfilling and mutually enjoyable marriage that lasts decades.
Working in therapy with me in my approach brings you into the awareness of how you’re engaging with your partner in the present moment, i.e. is it critical, harsh and judging or accepting, empathetic and loving. If it’s not the latter, I endeavor to help each partner take responsibility for their own actions for what’s being created. This reduces blame and victim-hood (i.e. it’s all his or her fault) and increases personal ownership in transforming the dynamic that had been created. In couples counseling this results in the elimination of emotionally destructive cycles which then opens a very good possibility for more mutuality and feelings of acceptance in being oneself.